I had the unique opportunity to speak at a special stake meeting on September 23. This was not just the usual gathering of stake members, but had a special guest that the whole meeting was held for. It was not just any special guest, but an apostle of God. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland was assigned to do some training in Colorado Springs on September 22 and chose our stake to come and meet with the following day. The stake president asked me to be one of the speakers at this meeting and I nearly died with fear. I had some time to prepare which I am so grateful for - and I had free reign on deciding on my topic.
Elder Holland spoke primarily to the youth and asked them to consider giving a tithe of their life. In other words if you were to live to be 100 a tithe of your life would be 10 years. He asked for not just any 10 years, but the years from 12-22. Studies have shown these ten years to be the most critical in developing commitments to religion because of the important decisions that they make during these years. It is not just the basics like deciding to go to church, but things that have a greater impact and influence on our lives like who we choose to be our friends, how we choose to spend our free time, if we choose to listen to our parents and leaders. He said that not only do you have the power to influence others, but they also influence you. It is important to make sure that influence is good going both directions. He told the parents and leaders that they would be passing the baton on to the youth and they needed to be ready and prepared to receive it. It was a such a spiritually uplifting meeting - one where we were crying one minute and laughing the next. Elder Holland had such a great love for the youth and as an apostle such a great desire to see them become all that Heavenly Father wants for them. He spoke at length about serving a mission, and how it is a priesthood responsibility for the boys and something that would benefit each young woman that choose to serve. He pronounced a beautiful apostolic blessing on the congregation, one in which all of the pains from our burdens would be eased.
I did not have the opportunity to sit and chat with Elder Holland, in fact my only contact was very brief. Just before he left he saw me, took both of my hands in his and said "You gave a wonderful talk. Thank You." and then he was gone. What a blessing it was to have had Elder Holland come. And...even though I was a mess in trying to prepare for it, I am grateful for the growth I received as I prepared to speak with an apostle of the Lord. You may be wondering what on earth I spoke on...well maybe not. But just in case my talk is copied below.
To Believe, Act, and Become
As we speak with our
friends and neighbors about who we are, we proclaim to not only believe in
Jesus Christ but to follow Him.
Following implies action. In our belief and action, we demonstrate that
“Jesus Christ himself [is] the chief
corner stone” of our faith. (Ephesians 2:20)
We can learn a lot from studying the life and teachings of
our Savior. He has not only provided the
way for us to return to our Father in Heaven; but has given us patterns to
follow. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a plan that shows us not only how to act
but how to become all that our Father desires for us. This process of becoming
is often achieved through pain and suffering.
Adversity, trials, and challenges are not unique to our mortal
experience; Christ was subjected to them as well, and his example can help us
as we face difficulties in our own life.
For the last several years our family has been faced with
the pain and bitter disappointment of our own trial. It has been a humbling
process that has stretched and taught us more than we ever thought possible. As
we have learned to recognize the good that has come from our experience, we’ve
gained a greater assurance of our Heavenly Father’s love. His complete and
perfect love permits us all to have experiences like this so that we might
develop the traits and attributes we need to become more like Christ. While our
experiences may come in many different shapes and sizes each stimulates growth,
understanding, and compassion which polish our character if we allow it.
Psychologist and philosopher, John Dewey said that “we do
not learn from experience…we learn from reflecting on experience.” In that
regard, hindsight is a wonderful thing when used to reflect on what we’ve
learned from adversity. The real
challenge is to gain that kind of perspective in the midst of the trial. I’ve
spent the last several months reflecting on what I am learning from our
family’s experience; and today, I’d like to share a few examples from our
Saviors life that have helped me to understand how to have greater faith and
trust in the will of the Father.
The first is to examine our hearts. “Jesus said… Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all
thy heart.” (Matt. 22:37)
I’ve always had a bit of a
fascination with the use of the word heart, especially in the scriptures. People can be described as hard-hearted,
having a brave heart, or being pure in heart.
Our heart is the window to our soul, and loving with all of our heart
suggests trusting the Lord with the deepest and most fragile parts of our soul.
My sister recently told
me of an anesthesiologist in her ward that had a heart attack. He had been educated and trained to recognize
heart conditions; yet, when he saw the symptoms in himself he pushed them aside
and denied their importance. We likewise
have received training about the condition of our spiritual heart. We have been taught to recognize when our
heart is becoming hard or full of pride.
Alma warned: Do we “profess to
have known the ways of righteousness nevertheless have gone astray?” (Alma
5:37) How often do we ignore the warning signs of our own heart because
of our resistance to Christ’s healing power? Christ said he was sent to “heal the broken-hearted.” I’ve found that I cannot just “set it and
forget it” when it comes to my own heart. Continual examination helps to
determine if the trials of our life have hardened and separated us from
Heavenly Father or strengthened and refined us.
Second: Christ sought help from God in the midst of his
challenges. He prayed “more earnestly”
in the Garden of Gethsemane. (Luke 22:44) It is a natural tendency to turn to the Lord
in prayer when we are struggling; however, it is not as natural to continue to
pray earnestly when we feel that our prayers are not answered in the way that
we would like. The Savior invites us to
“Ask, and ye shall receive.” (3
Nephi 27:29) This does not assure
that we will get what we want, but does guarantee, that if worthy, we will get
what we need. Heavenly Father wants us to express our needs, hopes, and desires
to Him; but we should do it with a willingness to obey His will and the
direction that may take us.
Earnest prayer helps us to develop our faith. Sometimes the
answers we receive from Heavenly Father may not remove the trial, but instead
strengthen us as we pass through the experience. As with the followers of Alma,
He can “ease the burdens which are put
upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs.”(Mosiah
24:14) Adhering to this example of prayer helps us to become more sincere
and faithful rather than bitter and uncommitted.
Next: Christ did not complain or murmur in the midst of a
trial. “Wherefore they scourge him, and
he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon
him, and he suffereth it…” (1 Nephi 19:9) The Savior did not
dwell on questions like “Why me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?” Elder
Hales said that these types of questions are useless to dwell on because they
detract from our spirituality, destroy faith, and will likely never have an
answer in mortality. (Hales,
Nov. 98 “Healing Body and Soul)
Murmuring and complaining plant seeds of dissension. We see
this exampled many times in the scriptures. In our attempts to correct a
problem or overcome a trial the better questions to ask might be: “What can I
learn?” or “What do I need to change?” Elder Scott has said: “I have found that because of our Father’s
desire for us to grow, He may give us gentle, almost imperceptible promptings
that, if we are willing to accept without complaint, He will enlarge to become
a very clear indication of His will. This enlightenment comes because of our
faith and our willingness to do what He asks even though we would desire
something else.” (Scott, Nov.
95, “Trust in the Lord)
Last, Christ sought to do only the will of His Father. As He
fell to His face in the Garden of Gethsemane, He asked, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not
my will, but thine, be done.”(Luke 22:42) Heavenly Father knows
the end from the beginning. To submit to
the Lord and leave our lives in His hands requires an amazing amount of faith,
especially when it seems that all will be lost if we don’t intervene. Trusting that our pain and suffering will
all be for our good is sometimes hard to comprehend. I am reminded of the pain
I inflicted on my own children as I subjected them to immunizations. There were
always tears and protests about the pain, but I would whisper in their ear that
it was okay, that this would protect them from disease and make them healthy
and strong. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and
their impact on us here in mortality - at times we act like we know it all.
A favorite saying of my husband’s is to “stop kicking
against the pricks.” He usually says this when one of us is resisting something
we know we should be doing. This phrase
is in reference to Acts 9, where the Savior is teaching Paul the importance of
submitting to the will of the Father. Anciently, this literary tradition
referred to a goad or shaft that
had been sharpened to a point on one end, and was used to prick the hides of
animals when they turned in the wrong direction. The natural tendency would be
to attempt to kick the irritant away, which would only drive it in deeper and
cause additional distress. By submitting
to the will of the Father we are allowing our trials to prick us in the right
direction.
American clergyman, Harry Emerson Fosdick wrote: “The most extraordinary thing about the
oyster is this. Irritation gets into his
shell. He does not like them. But when he cannot get rid of them he uses
the irritation to do the lovelist thing an oyster ever has the chance to
do. If there are irritations in our
lives today, there is only one prescription: make a pearl. It may have to be a pearl of patience,
but…make a pearl.” (In the Treasure Chest, ed. Charles L. Wallis, New
York: Harper & Row)
Our trials and challenges are the irritants that refine and
sanctify us as we become a beautiful pearl. It is my hope that as we pass
through these trials we will remember to examine our hearts, pray more
earnestly, complain less, and keep an eternal perspective. Let us believe
Christ when he says: “I have compassion upon you; my bowels are filled with
mercy…I see that your faith is sufficient and that I should heal you.” (3
Nephi: 17:7-8) I bear testimony
that our Father loves us and sent His Son to show and pave the way for us. He
suffered, He died, and He was resurrected that we might live and as we follow
Him, even in our trials, his healing power can help us to believe, act and
become.
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